The Week Begins to Wear

So much to do in the next 7 work days and so little motivation to get it done. The situation is not helped by the following facts: my office has a fruit fly infestation. The continuous swatting doesn't work and threatens to destroy my computer. I already splashed some coffee on the keyboard during one frenzy. The President of my employer is taking the entire department out to dinner on Thursday as a thank you for our months of hard work and success under difficult circumstances. The entire department but me that is. Apparently my traitorous decision to depart means the memory of my contribution is erased. I no longer deserve thanks. And more and more people I haven't chosen to tell about my departure are approaching me with the news and their questions and disappointment. Some of it is sweet and well-intentioned. But though I'm comfortable with my decision, I don't like having to EXPLAIN it so much to others' frowning faces.

On the bright side, good things are continuing to come my way. Yesterday, I received a job description that made me drool. Must apply by week's end. Today, I was invited to join the board of a political club. Increasing my my political involvement is a major goal for this period, so the invitation felt perfect. I accepted almost right away. I made a family dinner including HOMEMADE APPLESAUCE!!!! The President (age 8) pronounced it "a delicious meal" and had thirds and fourths! A friend I've been concerned about just reached out to me and I'm so happy that I'll soon be free enough to help her through her hard time. time to share . . . what wealth.

For the past 3 nights, PBS has been running a program called This Emotional Life. It's so impressive that it's made me realize how much of the t.v. I watch is pure shit. They just put up a great graphic showing the effect that one's person's increased happiness has on the level of happiness of people up to four degrees of separation away from them. It's a great illustration of my hope . . . that 2010 will be a year that I honor my friendships to the full extent of their value to me.

Today I had a waking daydream that my good friend and former roommate was stood up by the childcare provider she's selected just as she was about to return to work from maternity leave. I imagined letting her know that I was available in a pinch; imagined her remembering the offer in her time of need; imagined myself saying "yes" without a moment's hesitation then showing up and having a wonderful day with the baby in a snugli. I imagined the natural bond I'd build with baby Elfie during a period of regular childcare sessions, a relationship we'd never have the chance to develop otherwise.

Hell yeah, I've done the right thing. I'm already happier. The people around me feel it. And it's only going to get better.